How About the ‘App-lessness Crisis’?

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With all the talk about homelessness, how about showing a little concern for a less-visible crisis affecting us phoneless folks (who are almost exclusively the elderly, like me)? I’m talking about the “app-lessness crisis!”

The other day, I checked out “noom,” the fitness site, and even got to the signup stage before learning it was only for those who can access their app on a mobile phone!

And a day later, seeing a TV ad about McDonald’s giving a sixth cup of coffee free was good news for this regular at the Woodinville store. “Sorry,”  I was informed, “you have to keep track on a cellphone so we can print out a voucher from our app and forward it to the head office to earn a sales credit.”

I’m sure the list of barriers to being part of the new economy—sans cellphone—are endless (using Uber and Lyft come to mind), if I had the inclination to look further.

But, as a proud member of the phoneless set, I’m content to enjoy the many benefits it affords us. These include:

  • Not having to pay the ever-increasing monthly fees…
  • Not having angst over whether to switch carriers…
  • Not being able to talk/test while driving…
  • Not having to find a place to recharge it…
  • Not having a chronic crick in my neck…
  • Not tripping over obstacles in my path…
  • Not feeling like I’m on an “electronic leash”…
  • Not becoming addicted to it…

Need I go on?

Lest you think I’m a total neanderthal, I enjoy working on my iMac in my one-man office for three or four hours, nearly every day. And I also enjoy going home, where there are no electronic devices of any kind to compete with my hours of relaxation. And having one of the last land lines also is comforting.

—Larry Coffman

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